I really, really tried hard not to post anything about this. I tried so friggin hard, you have no idea. Unfortunately the power of the local Houston news media has compelled me to say something, via multiple articles in the Chronicle and the assault on my common decency by KTRK. So here we go.

Does anyone REALLY care about athletes inserting Tab A into Slot B? Honestly?

My dad cheated on my mom with a much uglier woman when I was eleven years old. Fortunately for my family, he was not a pro athlete, so the only scandal I had to deal with was nosy suburban neighbors. ARod’s family is not so lucky.

As a woman, I hesitate to say “well, she kind of deserved it.” On the other hand, if your significant other is being photographed being unfaithful on numerous occasions and embarrassing the holy snikes out of you in public, kick him or her to the curb, and please don’t use “staying together for the kids” as your lame excuse for staying. Trust me, the kids are better off knowing what a jerk their dad can be from the get go. I don’t particularly understand what Mrs. Rodriguez hopes to accomplish by airing her family’s dirty laundry in public. 99% of the sports viewing population would really like to get back to watching sports, not watching Jessica Simpson vacantly cheer on Tony Romo in the stands or whichever American Idol reject shows up at an NBA game. We don’t care about Roger Clemens’ infidelities, nor do we care about ARod’s. It is common knowledge that many pro athletes fit into the stereotype of the philandering husbands, and dopey women think that they can change that in the name of a meal ticket. They can’t. Move on. The location of a baseball player’s junk after hours has no bearing on his ability to play the game of baseball, so why are we supposed to care about it?

That being said, Madonna? Really? Sick.