The First Steroid Scandal of 2009

You will rarely, if ever see me defending a Yankee. Especially a druggie Yankee. So here we go.

There comes a point when enough is enough. Let’s get some perspective here: plenty of us are having trouble keeping our jobs and our houses. It’s gotten stressful to feed our families. Women are popping out children for cash and reality TV shows. What are our top priorities, America? Let’s see:

- Michael Phelps hits bong; nobody seems to care but the media, who overblows it to all hell.
- Jessica Simpson: FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT
- Crazy mom in California has kids she can’t afford in almost-bankrupt California
- Baseball players on roids; nation is shocked and appalled

Look, I’m all for punishing people when they do something wrong. Clemens and Bonds? Deserved what they got, in my opinion. However, I’m torn on this issue. One one hand, they were promised that the results of these tests would be completely confidential. Nobody was ever to be penalized, or found out, or anything. On the other hand, if you don’t want to get caught using performance-enhancing drugs, don’t use performance enhancing drugs. Sigh.

I don’t want to wake up one morning and see some big fattie headline that says JEFF BAGWELL IS A DOPER, or DRUG TESTS PROVE CRAIG BIGGIO USED STEROIDS. Can we please save some of our dignity? Some of our heroes of baseball, who have gotten us through really crappy times in this country? The Hall of Fame is going to be a very, very lonely place if this witch hunt continues, and I take issue with the fact that American tax dollars are going to pay for this crap when they could be better spent elsewhere.

Yes, I believe that if you used steroids after 1991, you are functionally retarded. I also think that cheating is cheating. This situation though… it just rubs me the wrong way. These guys complied with what they were told to do, and they got hosed. That’s just wrong, on so many levels. And Curt Shilling, shut your obnoxious mouth. This situation is ridiculous enough without you trying to get media time.